Am I choosing sex over God?

Since starting this blog about my journey of reconciling my Christian faith and sexual orientation, I have received my fair share of praise and criticism. I had expected it, and it really doesn’t bother me.

The most common question asked and comment posed relates to the commenter’s  assumption that I’ve have chosen sex over my relationship with God. This usually comes from a straight person who has never even had to think about these things. I received one of these comments again this week.

I know this may come as a shock to people, but sexual orientation means more than just having sex. When I say I’m gay, it means that I am emotionally, mentally, and physically drawn to women. It tells you NOTHING of my sexual practices or behavior.

LGBTQ people are often accused of always thinking about sex, but it often seems that straight Christians are the ones reducing us LGBTQ folks to sexual acts.

So, am I choosing sex over God?

Absolutely not! As a Christian, I strive  to place my life under the lordship of Christ, even my sexuality. So, what does this mean for me? At this moment in my life, I am trying to discern whether or not I am called to the vocation of celibacy. Please, please don’t run with that last line and say that I think that all LGB people must either marry someone from the opposite sex or live a life of celibacy. I don’t believe that at all! I affirm monogamous, committed same sex relationships.

But for me, I am trying to figure out whether I’m called to celibacy. Is God truly calling me or am I scared of intimacy due to my rape?

Regardless, I believe sexual intimacy is reserved for a marriage relationship. So, if I do not pursue celibacy, I won’t be having sex until I marry a spouse. Guess what? There are many other LGB Christians who are waiting to have sex within marriage.

As you can see, I’m not having sex. Coming out as lesbian had nothing to do with my wanting to choose sex over God. It had to do with wanting to live an authentic life and not hiding significant parts of myself.

Straight Christian, please stop assuming that we are choosing sex over God when we tell you we are LGBTQ. Honestly, look around you. Our televisions, radios,magazines,and computers are saturated with heterosexual sex.

Maybe, us LGBTQ Christians should be asking you, “Are you choosing sex over God?”



3 thoughts on “Am I choosing sex over God?

  1. We have to obey Jesus’ teachings. We are to only have sex when married, and we are to marry someone of the opposite sex. In addition, we are to marry once, except if our spouse dies. We are not to remarry, even if our spouse committed adultery.
    That is what Jesus says. It is a hard teaching, as Jesus’ apostles said; however, people will obey for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.
    We are not even to sin in our thoughts. A person can do something about thinking about what is wrong.

  2. Very well spoken! I admire your heart and that you just simply want to know GOD and what HE has for your life! That’s a beautiful thing and I believe that’s what matters most to HIM! Straight or not, we have all fallen short of GOD’S Will for our lives in some way, so it’s not our place to judge one another, but to love and encourage each other. Judgment belongs to GOD. I do have friends who aren’t straight, but still love GOD and we’ve had in depth conversations about this particular subject, I think my place as a friend is to just try to be the best friend that I can be and keep encouraging them to seek after GOD’S Will for their lives not what other people think of them. I’m amazed by your courage, your honesty, and your heart. Just keep trusting GOD. HE will never lead you astray! No judgment, JUST LOVE! Peace and infinite blessings to you! 🙂

  3. Hi Christy. I am just reading your writing and wanted you to know that I am holding you in prayer on this journey of life.
    Blessings friend,
    Laura Beach

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